Hi. I'm Jessica and I'm fourteen. ( unfortunately i hate to babble things about myself here lol considering that i might change my template again soon and like i have to start the whole thing all over again so yeah) continue - this blog consists of a variety of my personal experiences and observations , so im not exactly sure whether people would enjoy reading them or not but try keeping up though. :) comment away -->

f a v o u r i t e s ♥ text messages. silver and black bracelets. black nail polish. red nail poish. black converse. paramore. sandals. movies. popcorns. creamed cakes. icecreams. ipod. justinbiebs. black-and-white. blogging. mc-donalds. hugs and kisses. singing. milo. jeans, t-shirts and sneakers combo. kitties. dancing. night picnics. nasi lemak. homecook. positivity. cuddles. bands. rainy days. sasau. pancake. milk. his voice. his touch. him.

hello. so here i am again writing a bunch of craps which probably no one would even wanna read. :( but imma blurt them out anyway. its the only way to make me feel better. at least i think it wud. anyhoos , everything just happened so fast. i wish i was still in the past where everything was just perfectly fine with my life. But no. im stucked with my terrible life that is still happening now. I had never hadother people tell me that there were the days that they didn't love being themselves, that they lost some of who they were. and that they werent always perfect. no one ever wants to say that.. but i did. Its been truly difficult. Problems keep on falling down into my life. I just cant help but wonder why am i such a trouble to some people around me. at times i'd look for a friend to verbalise my feelings to. but there is always no one to give sympathy. some people ive considered my 'best friends' have betrayed me. many haven't called the whole time Ive been sick. i'm forgotten now.  wouldnt it feel just great to have someone to soothe you like a child? i bet it would. im always unconsoled. im just way too stubborn to give up on somthing even if it wud ultimately leave me nothing but pain. notwithstanding the situation im in , i couldnt thank my family more for they've been constantly trying to back me up in every situation i've been through.I'm extremely lucky to have a caring and understanding family as wellas a boyfriend who would do anything to see me happy. I love them all so much. unfortunately you hurt the ones you love most. and made me lose some of em. i never wanted to hurt them. I hope they can forgive me. like i said , everything is just completely hard for me. im never a strong girl. this pain and anger , this inner sadness  that engulf in me are just phenomenal. and im still waiting for a miracle to happen. something that wud change my life forever. &ive been waiting forever now. :(

This was written during one of the darkest time of my depression.