Told you so

So i had my heart broken yesterday when i found out his secret. It's quite a long story and i don't think i want to share it precisely to the public. But he did break my heart and it hurts till this very moment. And the thing, the fight, that we had yesterday was phenomenal. I wouldn't forget every single terrible excuse he made. I asked him why he would keep his stupid secret , why he refused to tell me everything but he didn't even come up with an answer, a wise one. How interesting. Its so sad how we had to end up like this, how everything has to end up real badly. But im still not ready to let go.. It's so damn complicated,you have no idea. I don't know what else to do.

hello. so here i am again writing a bunch of craps which probably no one would even wanna read. :( but imma blurt them out anyway. its the only way to make me feel better. at least i think it wud. anyhoos , everything just happened so fast. i wish i was still in the past where everything was just perfectly fine with my life. But no. im stucked with my terrible life that is still happening now. I had never hadother people tell me that there were the days that they didn't love being themselves, that they lost some of who they were. and that they werent always perfect. no one ever wants to say that.. but i did. Its been truly difficult. Problems keep on falling down into my life. I just cant help but wonder why am i such a trouble to some people around me. at times i'd look for a friend to verbalise my feelings to. but there is always no one to give sympathy. some people ive considered my 'best friends' have betrayed me. many haven't called the whole time Ive been sick. i'm forgotten now. wouldnt it feel just great to have someone to soothe you like a child? i bet it would. im always unconsoled. im just way too stubborn to give up on somthing even if it wud ultimately leave me nothing but pain. notwithstanding the situation im in , i couldnt thank my family more for they've been constantly trying to back me up in every situation i've been through.I'm extremely lucky to have a caring and understanding family as wellas a boyfriend who would do anything to see me happy. I love them all so much. unfortunately you hurt the ones you love most. and made me lose some of em. i never wanted to hurt them. I hope they can forgive me. like i said , everything is just completely hard for me. im never a strong girl. this pain and anger , this inner sadness that engulf in me are just phenomenal. and im still waiting for a miracle to happen. something that wud change my life forever. &ive been waiting forever now. :(

Some people have bad thoughts. So do i. & somtimes i have bad thoughts about some people that i met. Well , not in general but in certain people. I don't really know how to describe it but let's just say , i dislike 50% of people that i met , okay? I know its kinda bad but i just do. &it just seems to be the way they are that somehow has made me uncomfortable. Something like the way they talk? Even if theres no reason in being offended of what they're saying , i still don't llike it. Now , that's my problem. -sigh- i get emotionally bruised easily. So i think that kinda explains why i keep on disliking people around me. :/ i guess that's just me. ;p

I didn't do a darn thing today. Well , i went downtown. But it wasn't any fun to me. Haha hahah.. Watched some TV and chatted with some friends. I can't stop thinking about RM. *sigh* Btw , my freakin' mother took my phone yesterday!!
AHHH!!! dammit mom. Ya know why she took it from me? Because she said i couldn't take charge or deal with a phone! :( :( And i was like , u've got to be kidding me! What am i going to use from now on? And she went all blah blah blah and i was like , so ur saying i won't get in touch with my friends?? What if there's an emergency? And she went all blah blah blah again talking crap which i didn't even listen to. I was just so angry that i actually banged the door shut right in front of her face! NO! I DIDN'T GIVE A FCK on how she felt abt tht. AAH! dammit. And yes , i talked to her straight up! Of course i did it impulsively and that i'll regret it later but who cares? I just want my phone back MOTHER! >;(

Cheer me up by clicking this eh? -- LOVE

& don't forget to sign up :)

xojess

I used to be a blogaholic in other words i would post something like every 5 minutes but now i have nothing to write about and that makes me mad :( and sad :( haha hahahah nothing to write nothing to write. *sigh*
You know what? my friend thinks she is as good at me in everything and mostly she is but sometimes i want to go up to her and yell "IM BETTER THAN YOU!!!!! AND EVERYBODY ELSE THINKS SO TOO!!!!!" but im not a complete b-tch sooo i won`t and i never will. Do you think thats normal? to do wht i wanna do? well it might be. Oh and that same friend also blurts things out loud like way back then we were talking about science and how i got a really bad mark on my test and had to do it again. and then she blurts out "U GOT 68!!" and i said noooo.. (which is true) and then she said "OH RIGHT YOU GOT 58. and a lot of people were around and i practiclly screamed
"u weren`t supposed to tell". and she was like you never told me not too. so yeah i got really pissed off at her -.- Anyways smetimes , it's what we have to live with sadly! ok thanks for your time guys!!!! :):):)